Wholly Crap!

Almost a year has gone by since my last post. Life's been busy. Our daughter is growing up so fast. Almost 3!!!!? My dream is being tested again...pinned against life. It is important to me to provide, although I don't show it on my face but not doing so is killing me. My dream, my treasure is so so far away.

School...has its ups and downs. Passed my midpoint...finally. It took a while for them to clear some technical reasons why I they didn't pass me the first time. I was mad, but I'm over it so to speak. My one on one directed study has also bee approved which I'm excited about. I applied for jobs yesterday to see if I can make a living working in an office environment again. If I get it, and they do pay well, I may just take it. I'm really tired of living off my mother. The price of chasing my dream is pride. I'm married, but haven't given my wife a proper reception because I simply don't have the financial capability. Another word: broke.

Gabby has been going to preschool and I'd like to put her there full time. She has so much fun there and she does learn a lot. That's gonna be a thousand a month or so. Medical insurance expired with my "job". Responsibilities are piling up and I'm here chasing a dream. Is that fair? Life isn't always fair but maybe I can make it so for my daughter.

I feel the pressure, even though they are my imagination, from the people around me. My parents, my family members, my in-laws, my wife...they must all feel, even if it's just a little tiny bit, that I'm a failure. I haven't achieve anything with my life...at least that's how I see it. I'm having a good life on someone else's back.